God’s Unfailing Love On Display Through My Failures
But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the LORD because he is good to me. Psalm 13:5-6
Parenting is really hard sometimes. We have all heard about being prepared for the dreaded “terrible threes,” and for me, I don’t know that my patience has ever been tested as much as it has been since becoming a dad to a toddler.
I have always been an easy going, go with the flow, type of guy. Pretty much my attitude in every
situation looks a lot like this:
• High moment in life: Cool.
• Low moment in life: Cool.
• Frustrating moment in life: cool.
You get the idea.
This was the case even as our oldest came into our lives. Don’t get me wrong, I do show emotion. I get excited. I shed tears of joy when she was born. I cheered when she said “dada” (Her first words, no big deal). When she took her first steps I jumped for joy. But, an emotion that is not common for me is anger or frustration. I just never saw the point of exuding energy on that emotion.
Enter a three year old toddler.
Our daughter is the most strong-willed, defiant, type A personality, child I have ever met in my life. I love it. I love her, but this has led to some heated moments in our household between me and her (I know, I know. I’m the adult, act like it). But, the thing that I have learned about myself in these moments is that I am unfortunately quick to saying things that should never be uttered to my daughter that I love so much. There are times when I watch those eye swell up with tears, and I immediately know that I crossed the line, not her. I should know better. She doesn’t. She’s still learning. It’s my responsibility to correct her behavior in a caring loving way. To discipline justly and fairly. Yet, in her rebellious nature, sometimes I fly off the handle, and in the aftermath, I feel like a horrible father to the greatest little girl ever. It leaves me feeling like she deserves better than me and that God made a mistake by choosing me to be her dad.
Maybe you can relate?
Here’s the thing. My God is always teaching me more and more about His character everyday, and in my moments of failure as a dad, He reminds me how unfailing His love is for me. Because here’s the truth, to God, I am that rebellious child. Just as I have told my daughter time and time again not to run in the house, or jump on the couch, or put her hands in her mouth, or whatever, God, through His Holy Spirit reminds me of all the things He has told me not to do, and like a dog retuning to its vomit (Proverbs 26:11), I return to some of those things in my rebellion. And, you know what? My Heavenly Father has never spoken an unkind word to me, or overreacted out of frustration. He justly and fairly corrects my rebellion in a loving way, over and over again. This is why I saw even in my failure (parenting pains), my God’s unfailing love is on display for me to learn from, and hopefully grow to be more like Him in how I care for and parent my daughters.
I am jacked up. I know this. I love my daughters. I know this. There is no level of rebellion that will ever cause me to not love my daughters, and my hope is that I never act in a way that makes my girls think that I would ever not love them.
No matter how your story reads. No matter your rebellion, God loves you. His love is unfailing. He desperately desires a relationship with you. Maybe your dad wasn’t around growing up, or maybe your dad wasn’t the greatest to you, what I hope you learn from my own failures is this, at the end of the day, God is the standard that every dad is to live up to. Don’t let the faults of an earthly dad deceive you from the truth of who God is. He is not wrathful, and He is not unfair in His discipline. He is for you and wants the best for you. You can never do anything that causes God to love you any less. Know that. Believe that. Live in that.